1. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
2. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
3. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
4. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
5. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
6. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
7. In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.
8. A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
9. Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
10. Is man one of God’s blunders? Or is God one of man’s blunders?
11. Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.
12. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
13. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
14. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
15. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
16. The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.
17. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
18. Prejudices are what fools use for reason.
19. If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.
20. Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.
21. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
22. The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.
23. It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.
24. There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.
25. Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.
26. Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
27. By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.
28. Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.